Great Daily Affirmation...
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
How to be a happy single
Watch Video and then read the next post. Feel free to post your comments! Happy blogging!
What to do while you're single? (click to post comments)
CELEBRATE SELF!!!!
Some time ago a person asked me, "Which I'd liked best, being married or being single?" Stunned by the question and a bit caught off guard, I answered, "I'd much rather be married than single because I love being in a relationship."
Well, needless to say, 2 weeks later I'm still pondering the curious dialogue between myself and someone who's been married nearly 20 years. The person mentioned how married people make comments of how they contemplate being single and of how single people are dying to be married. Convinced society may be somewhat pyschitzophrenic in their desires, I wondered what do people really want and what should we be doing until we actually get it? The answer bubbled up, "CELEBRATE YOUR S.E.L.F!" (no matter what the situation).
I've realized in my infantile amount of knowledge and wisdom that, for myself, I've not always been sure of what I "truly wanted" because I was still discovering (or in search of) my true SELF. When a person doesn't know WHO they truly are, it's almost impossible for them to know what they TRULY want. Your SELF can only be defined by who you are in God/Jesus.
My "SELF" has been created from the values, morals, beliefs and code (the Word) which were placed within me before I was born. These things created my persona which I carry around with me each day. Over time and through situations, I admit I've probably compromised on some of these and have resulted in me developing a scued since of SELF. Once I brought my SELF back into alignment with the code, only then was I able to regain my sense of SELF and redefine the other things (morals, values, etc). After the realignment happened I was then able to determine my true DESIRES.
Self Principles:
1) Never lose a sense of SELF. Don't let someone rob or take hostage of my identity.
2) Never compromise my values, morals, beliefs, or code for another person.
3) Share my SELF with those around me (friends, family, co-workers, etc.). Give my "SELF" to others daily.
4) Always be in a relationship with my SELF (whether single or married).
5) Be happy with, forgive, and fortify my "SELF".
I also discovered something else while meditating on this idea of a single, married, or relational "State of SELF." It was the question of, "What should I be doing while I'm single?" Being transported to this new state of singleness for almost 2 years now has brought me in contact with quite a few other beautiful, talented, wonderful, awesome SINGLE SELFs which may benefit from my journey. Keys that I think would help us in our SINGLE STATE OF BEING are:
Seek spiritual well being.
Know who you are by defining your SELF in God. You are His creation and exist because of Him. (It is in Him that we live, we move, and have our being).
Experience abundant living now.
Don't wait until you have a mate to celebrate your SELF and your life. You are accountable for each day of your life. Live it to the fullest within the healthy boundaries God has created for our benefit and protection (not our bondage). You can be saved and have fun too. Wisdom is the key.
Live without limits.
Don't say to yourself you can't do this or that until you have that other person. If you want to buy a house now (while you're single) do it. Take a trip to the place you've always wanted to visit, do it-NOW! Grab some girlfriends or guy friends and go! Enjoy life and not wait for fate or that mate. If you want to start that business, do it!
Forgive your SELF and others.
Tell your SELF you're sorry for not getting to know who you really are (and what you really want). Tell your SELF you're sorry for being so hard on your SELF when you didn't reach your goals or allow yourself to try again. This applies to everything, whether it be love, a goal, a hope, or a dream. You can never go forward successfully holding on to past hurts, pains, and perceived failures. I always say, "I haven't failed unless I quit." I refuse to fail or lose, I'm a Christian and I always win! (All things work out for my good...)
In closing, once you take the journey you'll thank your SELF for embracing and getting to know your SELF because you'll be ready for that mate if he/she finds you. You'll also have an abundance to bring to the relationship. In contrast, if your destiny is to be single forever, don't worry! God will give you grace to do it and you'll still be in a loving, fulfilling relationship, even if it is only with YOUR "SELF." So be happy! You are the one ultimately responsible for the quality of your state of SELF.
Some time ago a person asked me, "Which I'd liked best, being married or being single?" Stunned by the question and a bit caught off guard, I answered, "I'd much rather be married than single because I love being in a relationship."
Well, needless to say, 2 weeks later I'm still pondering the curious dialogue between myself and someone who's been married nearly 20 years. The person mentioned how married people make comments of how they contemplate being single and of how single people are dying to be married. Convinced society may be somewhat pyschitzophrenic in their desires, I wondered what do people really want and what should we be doing until we actually get it? The answer bubbled up, "CELEBRATE YOUR S.E.L.F!" (no matter what the situation).
I've realized in my infantile amount of knowledge and wisdom that, for myself, I've not always been sure of what I "truly wanted" because I was still discovering (or in search of) my true SELF. When a person doesn't know WHO they truly are, it's almost impossible for them to know what they TRULY want. Your SELF can only be defined by who you are in God/Jesus.
My "SELF" has been created from the values, morals, beliefs and code (the Word) which were placed within me before I was born. These things created my persona which I carry around with me each day. Over time and through situations, I admit I've probably compromised on some of these and have resulted in me developing a scued since of SELF. Once I brought my SELF back into alignment with the code, only then was I able to regain my sense of SELF and redefine the other things (morals, values, etc). After the realignment happened I was then able to determine my true DESIRES.
Self Principles:
1) Never lose a sense of SELF. Don't let someone rob or take hostage of my identity.
2) Never compromise my values, morals, beliefs, or code for another person.
3) Share my SELF with those around me (friends, family, co-workers, etc.). Give my "SELF" to others daily.
4) Always be in a relationship with my SELF (whether single or married).
5) Be happy with, forgive, and fortify my "SELF".
I also discovered something else while meditating on this idea of a single, married, or relational "State of SELF." It was the question of, "What should I be doing while I'm single?" Being transported to this new state of singleness for almost 2 years now has brought me in contact with quite a few other beautiful, talented, wonderful, awesome SINGLE SELFs which may benefit from my journey. Keys that I think would help us in our SINGLE STATE OF BEING are:
Seek spiritual well being.
Know who you are by defining your SELF in God. You are His creation and exist because of Him. (It is in Him that we live, we move, and have our being).
Experience abundant living now.
Don't wait until you have a mate to celebrate your SELF and your life. You are accountable for each day of your life. Live it to the fullest within the healthy boundaries God has created for our benefit and protection (not our bondage). You can be saved and have fun too. Wisdom is the key.
Live without limits.
Don't say to yourself you can't do this or that until you have that other person. If you want to buy a house now (while you're single) do it. Take a trip to the place you've always wanted to visit, do it-NOW! Grab some girlfriends or guy friends and go! Enjoy life and not wait for fate or that mate. If you want to start that business, do it!
Forgive your SELF and others.
Tell your SELF you're sorry for not getting to know who you really are (and what you really want). Tell your SELF you're sorry for being so hard on your SELF when you didn't reach your goals or allow yourself to try again. This applies to everything, whether it be love, a goal, a hope, or a dream. You can never go forward successfully holding on to past hurts, pains, and perceived failures. I always say, "I haven't failed unless I quit." I refuse to fail or lose, I'm a Christian and I always win! (All things work out for my good...)
In closing, once you take the journey you'll thank your SELF for embracing and getting to know your SELF because you'll be ready for that mate if he/she finds you. You'll also have an abundance to bring to the relationship. In contrast, if your destiny is to be single forever, don't worry! God will give you grace to do it and you'll still be in a loving, fulfilling relationship, even if it is only with YOUR "SELF." So be happy! You are the one ultimately responsible for the quality of your state of SELF.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
ARE YOU SELF SABOTAGING THE VERY THING YOU WANT? (click here)
Applied to any area of your life whether it be employment, relationships, or anything...this article is very liberating. Face your fears head on and take control of your life, your love, and your purpose.
For the full article, visit: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/07/07/o.biggest.problem.is.you/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
Excerpts:
Psychologists may call it a counterphobic mechanism, a tendency to slide toward, not away from, something you fear. Those of us who use plain English might call it self-sabotage -- and it can ruin your life. These days, more than ever, facing and embracing your worst-case scenarios, seeing them as problems to be solved rather than torments to suffer helplessly, can save you no end of self-sabotage.
FACE your fear consciously not subconsciously (uncontrolled/self sabotaged-like)?
It may not be fun to contemplate everything that could go wrong in your life, especially in a time of massive economic upheaval and uncertainty. But by going straight into the fear, you can save yourself a crazy go-round with unconscious self-sabotage. You deserve better than that. You'll thank me. I swear.
Like so many people right now, Whitney was stuck contemplating the Machine of unemployment. But she'd shoved this intense fear out of her conscious awareness, so her subconscious mind had built a counterphobic mechanism to kill the job and end the agony.
Face and embrace your fear.
If you're repeatedly making dreadful mistakes and finding yourself in embarrassing snafus in an important area of life, push yourself to contemplate your worst-case scenario. I suggest doing this in the company of friends, family members, therapists, coaches, or all of the above.
While you're gaping and reeling like a stunned mullet, your more objective advisers can help you do some contingency planning.
If you're repeatedly making dreadful mistakes and finding yourself in embarrassing snafus in an important area of life, push yourself to contemplate your worst-case scenario. I suggest doing this in the company of friends, family members, therapists, coaches, or all of the above.
While you're gaping and reeling like a stunned mullet, your more objective advisers can help you do some contingency planning.
Example: Escaping 'perfect wife'
Once Olga copped to her real fears, facing and embracing her worst-case scenario was even more liberating. She had felt stifled in her relationship, she realized. Her definition of "perfect wife" had meant someone who relinquished all personal interests except her husband.
Once Olga copped to her real fears, facing and embracing her worst-case scenario was even more liberating. She had felt stifled in her relationship, she realized. Her definition of "perfect wife" had meant someone who relinquished all personal interests except her husband.
Although Olga loved Jack, that image of wifehood (hers, not his) was so noxious that subconsciously she knew she couldn't sustain it. Some part of her worried that it would eventually implode. So she'd begun doing things to end the marriage -- and thus her terrible anticipation of its end.
As we discussed what Olga might do if she were single, she began redefining herself as an individual, not an appendage. With Jack's help, she bagged her old stereotype of married life and realized she was free to plot her own course. Embracing her worst-case scenario took the kill me now sign off her relationship, and her marriage-torpedoing behaviors stopped.
Since you, like Whitney and Olga, are probably of sound mind, any chronic blundering on your part is likely a counterphobic mechanism: a brave, unconscious, totally knob-brained attempt to end the torture of anticipating further torture. These days, more than ever, facing and embracing your worst-case scenarios, seeing them as problems to be solved rather than torments to suffer helplessly, can save you no end of self-sabotage.
Ironically, of course, this, too, is a counterphobic mechanism. The difference is that it's conscious, reasoned, and wise, rather than unconscious, irrational, and nuts. It may not be fun to contemplate everything that could go wrong in your life, especially in a time of massive economic upheaval and uncertainty. But by going straight into the fear, you can save yourself a crazy go-round with unconscious self-sabotage. You deserve better than that. You'll thank me. I swear.
By Martha Beck for O, The Oprah Magazine © 2008
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